What is Domestic Abuse?

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"Domestic violence (also referred to as intimate partner violence (IPV), dating abuse, or relationship abuse) is a pattern of behaviors used by one partner to maintain power and control over another partner in an intimate relationship.
Domestic violence doesn’t discriminate. People of any race, age, gender, sexuality, religion, education level, or economic status can be a victim — or perpetrator — of domestic violence. That includes behaviors that physically harm, intimidate, manipulate or control a partner, or otherwise force them to behave in ways they don’t want to, including through physical violence, threats, emotional abuse, or financial control." - National Domestic Violence Hotline

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Domestic abuse can involve any of the following - it is not always physical:
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     ~verbal put downs/being called names
     ~shoving, slapping, kicking, biting
     ~choking
     ~controlling money
     ~destroying personal property/objects
     ~controlling where you go
     ~making jobs impossible to keep
     ~forcing unwanted sexual acts
     ~threatening to take the kids away
     ~listening to your phone messages/controlling your phone
     ~ monitoring texts 
     ~ demanding passwords
     ~ tracking location 
     ~ any behavior that makes you feel unsafe

The following behaviors are often seen in abusive partners:
Controlling behavior: says who you can see and what you can do

Extreme jealousy: may accuse you of having affairs, may act like they own you - and this 'ownership' may increase after significant events i.e. you commit to each other, move in together, get pregnant, etc. 

Promises to stop abusing: after abuse, is sorry & sweet for a while. This "honeymoon" is often followed by tension and more abuse.

Says you cause the abuse: tries to make you think you said something you did not

Blames abuse on drinking or drug use. Blames you for everything.